Jesus knew what He was intending to do before He asked Philip the question, "Where are we to buy bread, so that these (the large crowd that now stands before us) may eat?"
This is often the question of the day for those of us who live from check to check.
Jesus said this to test His disciples.
I wonder, as I read through John's Gospel, if the Spirit does not ask the same of me: "Where will you get your bread today, Stacy?"
No one else knew what Jesus was intending to do in those next few minutes; not Philip, not John, and neither do I.
And isn't that the hard?
You don't want to look to man for your supply. You don't want to check your bank account and pray that the numbers have somehow changed from the last time you hovered over its balance. Will you consider the credit card today? Or will you believe that God really will supply all of your NEEDS according to His riches in glory?
Philip's response to Jesus had words like not sufficient and even a little, because to this disciple it just wasn't enough.
"What You're asking from me, Jesus, won't be enough, because You're asking it of me, and I will never have enough to offer You".
And we don't have enough either.
I wondered why Jesus didn't ask this of John or Peter. Why only Philip?
Philip was from Bethsaida, a city Jesus condemns in Matthew 11 for their lack of repentance after witnessing His miracles. Like his own people, it was hard for Philip to believe, even when Jesus was standing right in front of him, and even after he had witnessed so many before.
Andrew (also from Bethsaida) spoke up, "There is a lad", but then he ends with the same doubt as Philip, "but what are these for so many?"
I think we all land in the same place these disciples did when Jesus asks for faith from ones who have witnessed His miracles before...insufficient; so little; what are these? Our first response is our own supply, and it is anything but sufficient.
But our story only ends that way if we fail to sit down, turn our eyes to Jesus, and watch Him take our insufficient and so little into His thankful hands and offer it to the Father.
I've always loved how the story changed once He gave thanks...as much as they wanted...they were filled...gathered up the leftovers...nothing was lost.
These men gave their insufficient to the One who could work miracles with something so small, and I choose to do the same with my so little faith. I know that it won't seem like much to anyone else, but Jesus already knows what He is intending to do with it. He pictures baskets of leftovers, a full stomach, and nothing lost.
Is five loaves and two fish all you have today? Look up and give thanks, and let's struggle together as we walk away with our full baskets.
