Because Jesus was leaving, and I had to see again.
I cried out for mercy, because I needed Jesus to see me.
How could I just sit there when my only hope to see again was passing by?
Some may ask why I wanted to see. I mean, I could hear. I could smell, feel, and taste. Why the need to see when there are still so many who can't even cry out for help?
Because seeing would allow me to read the words I know are truth. I don't want to rely on others to read it for me, because sometimes I weep at the sound of them, and those are private moments. I want to wake in the early morning hours once again, and sit before the words of Moses and the prophets; meditating on ancient scenes and prayers. I love my mornings in the very words of God, and I have so missed that time.
Just the thought of this makes my back stiffen as I raise my voice again and cry out.
And I kept crying out all the more...."Messiah, God in the flesh, I need Your mercy!"
He was calling for me, because I used words that no one else in the crowd was using that day. Amid the begging of others who held up their signs, and the mothers who threw their sick children at Him, my voice was different.
And He heard mine.
I jumped! I wasn't sure how I was going to get to Him, but I wasn't going to sit there and wait to find out!
He asked me what I wanted (such a loaded question for a beggar). But I guess I could have asked for anything in that moment. I mean, I thought the loss of sight was obvious, but could I have had anything I asked for that day? Money? A new house? Social standing?
What did I really want from Jesus? And what would I do with it once He gave it to me? Would I use it for Him, or would I only say I would now, but use it for my pleasure when He was gone?
What was Jesus really asking me?
"Your faith". He said, "Your faith has made you well", because this One knew me.
He knew that when I called for Him, I really was calling out to the One who could give me sight. It was our moment, even with the crowd hovering around us. He said your, because it was personal.
I could see again! So I stared down the road in front of me to, what I knew would be, a new life. I followed right behind Him, putting my feet in every footprint He left.
Maybe that road was what He wanted me to see all along; the pathway to a life of keeping my eyes on Jesus.
I jumped at the thought of it!
Lectio Divina-Mark 10:46-52
