Then I will go to the altar of God, to God my exceeding joy; and upon the lyre I shall praise You, O God, my God
Then I'll go. When is the then?
The Psalmist wants vindication against the ungodly. He feels rejection by his God for what he considers to be the unanswered prayer. He mourns over the oppression felt by the one he calls his enemy. He asks for light and truth. He asks to be led away; led to God's holy hill. But not just to the hill--to the very place where God dwells. And then, once he makes it to the hill of the Holy, he will move towards the altar. God's altar. He is certain that he will be led far away from the words of the enemy to the One who will hear his words and answer according to His certain judgment for the just.
But which altar is he led to? Surely he's not being led to the altar of incense for prayer? I mean, wasn't he just there? Hadn't he been praying in that very place? Would Holy come and lead him around a mountain and then take him back to the place he had just knelt before? Would he not be led instead to another altar? And isn't there only one left in the temple, the one for sacrifice?
I meditate on this.
How often do I hurry to the altar of incense for the soul-prayer over the depth of pain I feel from the one I call my enemy? How often do I kneel before Holy, asking Him to take away the memory of the one who has wounded me deeply? I move towards the sweet smelling altar with my heartfelt prayers to be heard and delivered, but rarely do I move towards the place of death and sacrifice first. I spend longer with the scent of my words than at the place where I remember my Savior's death for the sin that plagues every soul. This means I spend more time at a place where I want to be heard than at a place where I would remember why I am heard at all. I go to the altar of incense when I feel rejected and oppressed by my enemy, and I mourn with a desire to be consoled by the One who gives me strength. But sacrifice does not take place at this altar. At this altar there is no cost to me. This altar cannot receive the praise and the song until the altar that comes before it has been met with repentance and sacrifice.
And so I move back. I go back to the altar I was first met with when I entered God's temple; a brazen altar for the judgment of sin. And I lay my despair, my disturbed soul for the one who has wounded me with their words and their looks on the altar where my Savior bled over all of the rejections of the ungodly. And I soon realize that I was not led to His holy hill to stand before the incense without the return to this altar. He led me to the place of sacrifice so that I would remember that the ungodly cannot go to the incense without being led first to the brazen one. The prayers of all the ungodly must be met with the altar where the blood was shed in order to bring about the incense at the altar that stands behind it.
And only then-when I remember the sacrifice that was made not only for me but also for the one whose name I have spoken with disgust before the Holy-do I realize that they also feel rejected. The only difference is, they feel this without hope. Their souls also cry, but they cry without hope.
Will I plead their case on that holy hill? While I have the ear of the Holy, will I pray for their deliverance from the deceit of the enemy who speaks into every soul? Will I pray to the One who is my help, that He would be their help also? Will I ask Him to send His light and His truth to them?
Perhaps He already has. Perhaps that light is me. Perhaps the testimony of the Light who lives in me is waiting to be spoken into the one whose soul begs to be led to the truth.
I stand again with the incense. I speak into the sweet smells of a thankful heart with praise to the One who made the sacrifice for my hope; for the One who laid upon the altar and poured His blood over my sin. And my praise for the covering blood causes me now to speak the name of the once-thought-enemy with a prayer of salvation; a prayer for the meeting of hope. And on that holy hill, the incense is added to the bowl of prayer that rests before the Holy. And there is exceeding joy. And there is praise.
And the light moves forward.
